Etcetera

Just Die Already, I've Got Money On You!

logan.

Posted to Etcetera on Wed Jan 10, 2007 at 11:52:07 AM EST (promoted by port1080). RSS.

With the trio of celebrity deaths that ended 2006 still dominating the news cycle, it's time to look forward to 2007 and ask "Who's gonna kick off this year?" Time for the first annual Treesandthings Dead Pool!

The rules are pretty simple: pick the five celebrities you think are most likely to die in 2007. At the end of the year we tally them up and see who's the best prognosticator. To make it more interesting/needlessly complex, I'll add a scoring system:

One point for correctly predicting the celebrity's death.
One point for correctly predicting the manner of their death.
Musicians who die in bizarre gardening accidents count double.

Note: killing the celebrity yourself results in immediate disqualification.

One hint to get you going: Abe Vigoda is 85 and still not dead.

Tags: writted by logan, edited by Port1080, celebrities, death (all tags)

This story: 18 comments (4 from subqueue)
Post a Comment
3

Listy List List

keta.

Wed Jan 10, 2007 at 02:09:44 PM EST

5.00 (interesting)

*Wishful thinking:

Death(s):
The New York Rangers team plane crashes, killing four people.
Reason:
Jagr, Straka, Shanahan, and Nylander are killing me in the hockey pool.

Death(s):
Judith Regan.
Reason:
Not because of her idiotic OJ book idea, and not because she panders, but because she went through 18 personal assistants in one year, thereby marking her as one the biggest cunts to work for or with, ever.

Death(s):
Conrad Black and Babs Amiel
Reason:
Crooked, haughty, and puke-inducing, their deaths before the March trial would save us all the coming self-righteous  bloviation from Lord Pickpocket and Lady Douche Bag.

Death(s):
Babs Streisand and Anne Coulter
Reason:
Maybe lancing a suppurating pustule from either end of the political spectrum will help us all find more common ground in the middle.

Death(s):
Hardcore religious fundamentalists - everywhere
Reason:
Not because religion is inherently evil, but because these fanatics roil simpleminded masses into actions that are a bane to human existence.

*Not really.  I wouldn't wish death on anyone...well, maybe those fuckers in the last category.

4

Re: Just Die Already, I've Got Money On You!

logan.

Wed Jan 10, 2007 at 03:32:19 PM EST

4.00 (funny)

I'm gonna go with:

Fidel Castro - Cancer. The nature of news emanating from Cuba will make the actual cause of death debatable.
Ronnie Biggs - Complications from previous strokes, heart attacks, pneumonia.
Lady Bird Johnson - Natural causes
Ariel Sharon - Complications from last January's stroke.
Emiliano Mercado del Toro - Natural causes

I'd like to say Paris Hilton will be eaten alive by a pig over the course of several days in a bizarre plot orchestrated by renegade intellectuals, but my birthday isn't until September.


-=Logan
"Spockmate!"

1

Re: Just Die Already, I've Got Money On You!

port1080.

Wed Jan 10, 2007 at 12:00:45 PM EST

none

I'll stick with political figures

Dick Cheney, heart attack

Robert Byrd, ditto

Hugo Chavez, death by Pat Robertson and/or ExxonMobil

Iraq Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki, assassinated

Robert Mugabe, syphilis

2

Re: Just Die Already, I've Got Money On You!

thefadd.

Wed Jan 10, 2007 at 12:44:26 PM EST

none

My picks (a little out of left field but I should get points for difficulty if I nail any of them):

Jimmy Carter, May
Kevin Federline, June
Starr Jones, July

It is easy to buy small plaster models of what you think life is like.

5

I don't play death pools.

MayorBob.

Wed Jan 10, 2007 at 05:15:08 PM EST

none

But I do have an idea of who is at the top of two other peoples.  Rosie O'Donnell is on Donald Trump's and vice versa.  What happens when you loathe both people in a death match?

Illegitimi non carborundum.

14

^ 5

Re: I don't play death pools.

humorlesscretin.

Sat Jan 13, 2007 at 11:15:28 PM EST

5.00 (brilliant, funny)

What happens when you loathe both people in a death match?

You root for a tie.

Humorless. Cretinous. What'd you expect?

6

Re: Just Die Already, I've Got Money On You!

pO157.

Wed Jan 10, 2007 at 05:18:43 PM EST

none

Zbigniew Brzezinski.
Bernardin Cardinal Gantin.
Jack Bascom Brooks.
Thomas Savig Kleppe.
Enrique Inglesisas.

7

Re: Just Die Already, I've Got Money On You!

logan.

Wed Jan 10, 2007 at 06:29:07 PM EST

none

Everybody wins! It's like Celebrity Boxing. I don't root for Horshack or Screech, I root for the fight to go the distance. The ultimate would be a Mike Tyson moment in the final round that disfigures one sufficiently for them to be removed from public life and results in a lengthy prison term for the other. And if the bout was Paris Hilton vs. Nicole Richie...well, I've got a warm glowy feeling just thinking about it.

-=Logan
Spockmate!

8

My Picks

wetkarma.

Wed Jan 10, 2007 at 06:34:36 PM EST

none

Osama bin Laden -- I believe he's already dead...but an announcement/confirmation would be nice. Violent causes.

Harold Pinter -  Cancer

Louis Farrakhan - "ulcer in the anal area" indeed. Cancer.

Brooke Astor - natural causes.

Lady Bird Johnson - natural causes

Memory is a strange bell, jubilee and knell.

9

^ 8

Re: My Picks

logan.

Wed Jan 10, 2007 at 11:22:15 PM EST

none

Osama bin Laden will never be captured and never be killed. His role is to play boogyman. As long as he is out there somewhere, the GOP can raise his specter in order to make us fear another attack. It might be forty years from now, but they'll still try to control us by making us fear a seven-foot tall Arab who disappears like a ghost and can call in devastating suicide attacks on any city in the world on a moment's notice.

Flipping that around, bin Laden's role for al-Queda is identical, but from the other side. As long as he's alive somewhere, plotting to bring down the Great Satan (that's us), he's a powerful symbol for radical Islam.

Now all that said, the Bush Administration played the card too many times. Every time the GOP got in trouble, they used 9/11 and/or bin Laden to distract us. Now Americans are almost immune. Bin Laden has only one more role to play for the GOP: if things get really really bad, they can find him, capture him, and have a big show trial that will be floated as justification for everything that's happened since 9/11. Luckily for us, I think that time has passed. I figured Bush would play that card in late October of 2004. Now that the GOP are seen as the party of arrogant, incompetent, corrupt, greedy, racist, war-mongering child molesters, even bringing in bin Laden won't put a Republican in the White House in 2008.

Bin Laden,assuming he's still alive, will die in some secret location. It may be a cave in the mountains of Pakistan, it may be in one of his family's homes in Saudi Arabia, it may be at the home of a friend of the family he trusts not to betray him, but we will never find out.

-=Logan
Spockmate!

10

^ 9

Re: My Picks

wetkarma.

Thu Jan 11, 2007 at 09:58:06 AM EST

none

Your view of government power is a bit overbroad in my mind Logan. If the current administration/the GOP had an inherent ability to capture bin laden they would have done so -- thus burnishing their foreign policy/national security credentials for the next decade or so.

The fact that they have not done so, even while the administration and the Republican Party's name became synonymous with foreign policy incompetence and strategic failure tells me that no such ability exists.

The republican party should be a joke to the next generation -- the guys who metaphorically (and literally in the case of the VP) couldn't shoot straight.

This administration is incompetent but thats ok, because Americans don't mind incompetence. The idea that Americans are being "fooled" and just now are "catching on" is just pablum that left-wing activist write in order to ignore the results of the 2004 presidential election.

Memory is a strange bell, jubilee and knell.

11

Re: Just Die Already, I've Got Money On You!

3fingerspointback.

Fri Jan 12, 2007 at 04:13:39 AM EST

none

Paul McCartney(again)--Private plane crash.
Arthur C Clarke--Old age.
Kim Jong Il--We are told it's from disease, but sometime after 2015 we'll have conclusive proof that was an assassination.
Jessica Simpson--We are told it's from an automobile accident, and there will never be conclusive proof of suicide.
Billy Graham--Natural causes, in his sleep.

(is 3fingerspointback)

12

^ 11

Re: Just Die Already, I've Got Money On You!

thefadd.

Fri Jan 12, 2007 at 12:58:14 PM EST

none

arthur c clarke is still alive?? I had no idea...

It is easy to buy small plaster models of what you think life is like.

13

^ 12

Re: Just Die Already, I've Got Money On You!

3fingerspointback.

Fri Jan 12, 2007 at 02:53:12 PM EST

4.00 (funny)

I saw him being wheeled around at the last ComicCon.  I wasn't too sure myself.

(is 3fingerspointback)

15

Re: Just Die Already, I've Got Money On You!

ms sue.

Sun Jan 14, 2007 at 11:32:39 AM EST

none

Although I'm lukewarm about stuff like this, I will add one, for those of you who might remember her: Elizabeth Taylor.

16

^ 15

Two more from the same general age group.

MayorBob.

Sun Jan 14, 2007 at 12:47:31 PM EST

none

Barbara Walters and Debbie Reynolds.

Illegitimi non carborundum.

17

^ 16

Re: Two more from the same general age group.

ms sue.

Sun Jan 14, 2007 at 03:48:43 PM EST

none

I don't know about Debbie Reynolds, but I'm pretty sure that Barbara Walters is healthy. Taylor, OTOH, has had some heavy-duty medical problem for quite a while, I believe. Besides, Walters has to stay alive, if for no other reason than to reap the benefits of the ongoing Rosie/Donald War.

18

^ 15

Creeeeeeeeeeeepy couple

1fastdog.

Sun Jan 14, 2007 at 04:59:33 PM EST

none

I will add one, for those of you who might remember her: Elizabeth Taylor.

Heh! Here's hoping that she takes her alien ...errr, offspring with her when she goes!

Somewhere in my soul, there's always Rock -n- Roll... Joe Strummer

This story: 18 comments (4 from subqueue)
Post a Comment