Business

Hard To Open

MayorBob.

Posted to Business on Mon Dec 17, 2007 at 10:59:56 AM EST (promoted by port1080). RSS.

You wake up Christmas morning and scurry on down to the tree.  You and your family find gifts galore under the tree.  You experience the thrill and happiness of getting just what you wanted.  Now you get to experience the dread that comes with trying to get what you wanted out of its package.  Particularly if you find electronic gear or toys you are about to embark on one of the most frustrating aspects of the holidays - trying to get your stuff out of the clamshell or oyster packaging.  Not only will it be a major chore to accomplish, getting the stuff free might be hazardous to your health.

The packaging, which is supposed to protect merchandise while it's in the supply chain, becomes a health hazard at this time of year.  This is because most consumers are eager to get stuff open and in use (particularly for the kiddies).  But the packaging is so tough and durable it's impervious to most scissors.  Therefore, bigger and sharper implements need to be brought to the fray.  Knives are the common tool of choice and it's not unusual for a person to lacerate themselves in the process.  Barehanded opener beware, as that is a surefire way to cut yourself or lose fingernails.  Michael Hunt, an emergency room doctor from Denver says:

"People get frustrated and vigorous.  That's when the mishaps occur. People don't appreciate the integrity of the packaging. You become rushed and not slow and considered in your approach."
But the purpose behind the tough and unforgiving plastic wrapping goes beyond making sure the product isn't destroyed in the supply chain.  The main purpose is to reduce retail theft, something that costs retailers an estimated (US)$13 billion a year.  According to Mary Ann Falkman, a retail industry observer, "in a nutshell it is pretty much all about retail theft."  The stuff looks good on the store shelf and it's more difficult for a shoplifter to steal than loose items.  Falkman just wishes they'd make it a little easier for people who actually bought the stuff to be able to open it at home.

The difficulties and hazards of this type of packaging are memorialized by the Oyster Awards.  Consumer Reports bestows the Oysters annually upon those packages which present the greatest challenge to the unsuspecting consumer.  This year's winners include an electronic toothbrush and a set of dolls.  Another downside to oyster packaging is that most of it is made from PVC.  While PVC is cheap and sturdy it's often difficult to recycle.

Tags: edited by Port1080, written by Mayorbob, Christmas, toys, oyster packaging, danger, will robinson (all tags)

This story: 13 comments (0 from subqueue)
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3

Worst.......Oyster......EVAR

port1080.

Tue Dec 18, 2007 at 07:34:57 AM EST

5.00 (funny)

I got a nice Calphalon cutlery set for Christmas two years ago. High quality forged steel, very, ver sharp. Generally speaking it was well packaged, with the knives individually wrapped in easy to open tissue paper, but some obscenely sadistic asshole in their packaging department decided to put the big ass slicer knife in one of these plastic oyster packages (it was packaged as the display piece towards the outside of the box, so I guess they felt it needed extra "protection". Needless to say, my Christmas morning did not end well, and there are some blood stains on the carpet that still won't come up. I also have a nice scar on my finger to forever remind me that, yes, knives can cut you.

Ce n'est pas une pipe. C'est une signature.

5

^ 3

Re: Worst.......Oyster......EVAR

MayorBob.

Tue Dec 18, 2007 at 10:22:58 AM EST

none

The worst experience I ever had was the time I was setting up my home theatre set up.  It was an amazing, non-stop duel with various and sundry Monster cable packages (wrapped in monster-quality plastic) and electronic components and speakers double wrapped with that godawful ribbed packaging tape.  Of course the oyster wrap and the plastic ties weren't the total of it.  When I opened my receiver and my DVD player and Tivo boxes, inside were the remote wands, securely wrapped in their very own oyster wrap.  And then, of course, I found they didn't include the batteries.  So, off to the store I go for those, all of which came enclosed in ...

Illegitimi non carborundum.

7

^ 5

Just an observation

Lou.

Tue Dec 18, 2007 at 12:05:39 PM EST

5.00 (brilliant, informative)

godawful ribbed packaging tape

I guess it's not ribbed for your pleasure.

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine

4

market opportunity

wetkarma.

Tue Dec 18, 2007 at 07:50:59 AM EST

5.00 (interesting)

Further proof that this is a golden age where people are complaining about the effort required to unpack the crap they bought.

Still - it occurs to me that online companies (like Amazon) could use this as a business opportunity by disabling the package seals at the warehouse prior to shipping. I'm sure there are industrial level snips that can make short work of these plastic bubbles, so have customers check an option that they'd like the seals/edges of their plastic wrapped packages to be snipped before shipment.

Memory is a strange bell, jubilee and knell.

9

^ 4

Re: market opportunity

zyxwvutsr.

Tue Dec 18, 2007 at 02:29:47 PM EST

none

...it occurs to me that online companies (like Amazon)...
Remember, the oyster packaging is intended to "discourage theft while still having an attractive store display." Neither consideration applies to online retailers. Given its size, perhaps a better strategy for Amazon would be to tell manufacturers that it no longer wishes to sell products with such packaging and also wants a discount on the manufacturers' cost of using it.

6

Re: Hard To Open

ms sue.

Tue Dec 18, 2007 at 10:47:54 AM EST

5.00 (funny, funny, astute)

What's really cruel is that anyone with the surname "Hunt" would name their kid Michael.

10

^ 6

Re: Hard To Open

zyxwvutsr.

Tue Dec 18, 2007 at 02:30:28 PM EST

none

Why do you think he became a doctor? No one's going to call him "Mike" at work.

1

Re: Hard To Open

Dvandom.

Mon Dec 17, 2007 at 01:23:58 PM EST

none

I use kitchen shears or a realllllly sharp Victorinox knife.  

This is not a signature.

11

^ 1

Re: Hard To Open

WMK.

Wed Dec 19, 2007 at 04:08:16 PM EST

4.00 (informative)

Kitchen Shears - now an absolute necessity for your life.

I think you can get cheap ones at the dollar store - or else spend < 5$ at a real store and you will have one of the most useful tools you could hope for....unless the shears are oyster wrapped.

"...when theft and high crime becomes obscenely obvious to even the blindest beer sucking idiot, it is always the Republicans who are in office." -- Joe Bageant

8

^ 1

Re: Hard To Open

zyxwvutsr.

Tue Dec 18, 2007 at 02:24:06 PM EST

none

I use kitchen shears or a realllllly sharp Victorinox knife
A couple time that I've used kitchen shears before I found that I had not only opened the package, but cut right through the owner's manual.

2

Re: Hard To Open

tomc.

Mon Dec 17, 2007 at 01:59:50 PM EST

none

I'm still trying to get past these kid-proof medicine containers.

12

utility knife love

JimmyHavok.

Mon Dec 24, 2007 at 03:54:07 AM EST

none

I recommend a utility knife set at its lowest depth.  Hold the package by the left side, and run the knife from left to right across the top at the weld.  Turn it, hold it by the new left side, cut the top again.  Usually, that's enough slack to get it out of the package, if not, one more cut will do the trick.

The key to safety is always cut away from yourself.  I learned that in Boy Scouts.  The hell with the other people in the room, if they can't give you enough space to work they deserve a new scar.

13

Pepperidge Farm

Lou.

Wed Dec 26, 2007 at 06:50:39 AM EST

none

[Quoting Mitch Hedberg from memory]

Pepperidge Farm bread is fancy.  Once you get it open, it still ain't open.  I don't need another thing coming between me and toast.

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine

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