Etcetera

A Priest, a Rabbi and a Cleric Walk Into an Execution Chamber...

MayorBob.

Posted to Etcetera on Thu Jun 07, 2007 at 07:41:04 AM EST (promoted by port1080). RSS.

The human race will be minus at least one person who loves a good joke come June 26th.  That's the date the state of Texas is planning on executing inmate Patrick Knight.  But, before he goes to meet his maker Knight, who is paying the price for having murdered two of his neighbors, wants to have a killer farewell line.

Even though anti-death penalty groups continue to work on his behalf, Knight is convinced his appeals have run their course.  So, he's engineered a competition of sorts, find the best joke he can tell on his way out of this existence - gallows humor, if you will.  He's accepting nominees by mail to his cell on death row or by email to a myspace page a friend of his has created for him.  Knight admits to having murdered Walter and Mary Werner in their home near Amarillo back in 1991.  He says his quest for a joke that will leave the witnesses at his execution laughing isn't meant to hurt the Werner family:

"I'm not trying to say I don't care what's going on. I'm about to die. I'm not going to sit here and whine and cry and moan and everything like that when I'm facing the punishment I've been given."
If it's a joke, it's a sick joke in the mind of Randall County Sheriff Joel Richardson.  He was one of the investigating officers on the Werner case and he believes the only one who finds any humor in the situation is Knight.  Richardson believes the way Knight is preparing to end his life "tells you a little bit about the guy's character, anyway."  Witness the comments on the main newslink, there's not a whole lot of people who share Knight's sense of humor.

Knight was inspired in his search by the stylings of Vincent Gutierriez who remarked to the witnesses at his execution back in March "where's a stunt double when you need one?"  Knight says he's spent 16 years getting to this moment and even though "they think they're punishing me ... they're really letting me go."  Is it a matter of Knight trying to compensate for his fear of what's to come or is it the mark of an unrepentant sociopath?  What sort of advice would you give him or what sort of joke would you offer?

Tags: edited by Port1080, written by MayorBob, death, murder, capital punishment, Texas (all tags)

This story: 9 comments (5 from subqueue)
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1

How would you leave?

MayorBob.

Thu Jun 07, 2007 at 09:41:15 AM EST

5.00 (astute)

Sick joke or not, this is the way Knight wishes to go, it's his last moment on earth so he gets to even do a Pauly Shore standup routine as far as I'm concerned.  Taking a look at the past recent "customers" of the Texas death chamber, they seem to be a varied lot in terms of how they decided they wanted to go.  There was one who was dazed and confused.  There was one who was defiant and pissed.  There was one who was grateful to the warden and willing to make a fashion statement.

Of course, there was one who just told everyone to go fuck themselves.

Illegitimi non carborundum.

2

Re: A Priest, a Rabbi and a Cleric Walk Into an Ex

Enne.

Thu Jun 07, 2007 at 11:52:42 AM EST

5.00 (astute)

The whole thing seems to mostly just be an attempt to go out with a bang of attention and controversy via gallows humor.

It's not that I blame him; it's no different than writing a witty tombstone.  The only difference in his case is that he admits to being a murderer, which I don't think invalidates the sentiment nor makes him a sociopath.

4

Gallows Humour

Admit The Woods.

Thu Jun 07, 2007 at 07:21:57 PM EST

5.00 (funny)

Or, taking the term gallows humour completely literally, there's the (probably apocryphal) story of one William Palmer who, after being led to the gallows and placed on the trapdoor, asked "is this thing safe?"

6

Well, what would you have him say?

workerant.

Fri Jun 08, 2007 at 09:35:27 AM EST

5.00 (astute)

Nobody cares about his outlook on the Iraq War, if indeed he has one. He's not a political or ideological prisoner, so we can't expect an impassioned speech from the dock. I understand that he's already said, "I'm sorry" for his crime. He's not wasting an opportunity to make an impact about some pet cause, because the opinions of convicted murderers are usually regarded with some skepticism. So what's left?

It's the guys last moments on earth. He has every right to crack jokes, if he has the stomach for it.

5

Last words...

Lou.

Thu Jun 07, 2007 at 07:47:51 PM EST

4.33 (funny, interesting)

"I commend my soul to any god who can find it"

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine

3

The Man

thefadd.

Thu Jun 07, 2007 at 02:53:07 PM EST

none

...has admitted to his crime and accepted his fate. What more can you ask of him.

I've never been good at thinking up jokes and my take on this is that something so contrived won't likely lead to much comedy but I have no problem with him trying.

make it rain you nappy headed ho's

7

A comment from someone else:

MayorBob.

Fri Jun 08, 2007 at 09:50:12 AM EST

none

A TnT member named skeptic sent me a message saying he had a technical problem posting this comment on this thread:

To quote Joni Mitchell,

But now it's just another show
You leave them laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away.

A suitable parting line would be, I regret that I have but one life to give for my victims.

Illegitimi non carborundum.

8

^ 7

Re: A comment from someone else:

thefadd.

Fri Jun 08, 2007 at 02:48:42 PM EST

none

If I killed somebody, I'd probably be like, "they were fuckers and deserved to die just like me" but then I don't think I'd really kill anybody.

make it rain you nappy headed ho's

9

^ 8

Re: A comment from someone else:

skeptic.

Sat Jun 09, 2007 at 08:36:28 AM EST

none

My reason for suggesting the parting line, "I regret that I have but one life to give for my victims" was not so much that I believe that Knight actually regrets his actions, but to present a variation of a famous quote dating from the American Revolution, which might be amusing.  Or might not.  This line also does have an element of ambiguity; maybe Knight really does feel some remorse.  It is actually not unusual for people to feel some regret about having killed other people.  

There are all kinds of complexities associated with killing people.  You might kill someone who truly deserves to die, yet by doing so you also may cause a painful loss to (let us say) that person's children, who may be completely innocent.  In times of war you may kill an enemy soldier who had to be killed, yet who was still a decent person, and who might have helped to heal the wounds of war had he lived through it.  The German and Japanese enemies of America in WW II are today America's best friends.  There is, therefore, some regret that it had been necessary to kill so many of them.

Some people never regret killing anybody, because they only care about themselves.  Knight may be such a person, but I haven't really looked into his case deeply enough to know.  

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