It looks like Christian ministers are starting to warm to Harry Potter just as the franchise comes to an end.  It seems some of them have been able to get past the whole witches and wizard thing and take a look at the message within.  

Illegitimi non carborundum.

I also predict I will never read any of the books or see any of the movies.

It is easy to buy small plaster models of what you think life is like.

Harry dies, around 2070.  The epilogue is Harry's deathbed reminiscences about what happened after the death of Voldemort.

Harry dies, clinically, but is revived by CPR applied by Hermione (who, being daughter of Muggle medical professionals (okay, dentists, but still) knows basic non-magical first aid).  But it's enough death to satisfy prophecy.

Someone dies, but they're revealed to have been replaced by a shape-shifting Nargle halfway through the Half-Blood Prince.

This is not a signature.

Ron discovers Harry in bed with Hermione and runs off in crying in a fit of jealous betrayal. He runs into Malfoy and spills his guts. Malfoy, seeing an opportunity, turns Ron to the Dark Side. He plays upon Ron's unrequited love of Hermione, his jealousy of Harry's fame, and plays a class warfare card, noting Harry's fabulous wealth. Ron kills Hermione, then dons her skin to lure Harry into a trap and kill him. When Harry seduces what he thinks is Hermione, Ron discovers that his deep love for his friend Harry has blossomed and the two of them fuck like Brokeback Cowboys.

Malfoy's original intent is to burst into the room, stop Ron from killing Harry then call a truce. Malfoy would report Ron for Hermione's murder, sending him off to Azkaban prison. Ron's father, now disgraced, would be unable to rally the Ministry of Magic to prevent a coup by the Deatheaters. Since Ron has diverged from the plan and returned to Harry's side, Malfoy breaks the spell that gave Ron Hermione's appearance, and bursts into the room. Harry, now realizing that he's boning Ron and not Hermione, shrinks back in panic. Malfoy, seething with betrayal attacks Ron, and reveals the ultimate plan: Malfoy would then cast a love spell on Harry and the two would kill the remaining members of the Wizard Council and all the younglings at Hogwarts and rule the Galaxy together.

Ron and Harry now realize that they have both been set up. They kill Malfoy, dress his body in the garb of a Deatheater, and place him by Hermione's corpse. They report the murder to Dumbledore, claiming that they discovered Malfoy in the midst of a wizard sacrifice and killed him, but were unable to save Hermione. Harry harnesses the resulting publicity by creating a hysteria about the return of the Deatheaters and runs for President of the Magical World. Harry wins in a highly-controversial race eventually decided by the Supreme Wizards' Court, and immediately declares marital law and begins imprisoning all Deatheaters, Deatheater sympathizers, Deatheater programs, Deatheater-related programs, sympathizers of Deatheater-related programs, and the Dursleys. As further attacks by the Deatheaters fail to materialize even in the face of increasing rhetoric about the grave danger they present, Harry's popularity fades. Finally, on the eve of the next election, Vice President Ron arranges for a lone wand-man to kill Harry during a public appearance and assumes the Presidency.

Twenty years later, JK Rowling announces a second series of books covering the adventures of Harry's Parents. The hype is staggering, dominating pop culture for months. The books, however, suck, and tens of thousands of fans scream in betrayal at the months they wasted standing in line for the first printing. Rowling, now the richest person on Earth, is heard to say "Ha ha ha. Ka-ching!"

-=Logan
Research, facts, a Republican needs not these things.

A recent fight I was in with a group of youths makes me wonder if the Harry Potter obsession hasn't dorkified, wussificated, and enpansied our young people, though to be fair when I was 9 years old I probably would've cried too if a grown man roundhouse kicked me and my friends in the head because we were skateboarding too close to his parked car.

All of this speculation somehow reminds me of when I was a little smart-aleck kid. My cousin was reading "Bridge to Terabithia" at a family reunion. She was going over and over about about how wonderful of a book it was, how meaningful it made her life, etc.

Of course, I decided to be the usual contrary character I was and started ragging on it repeatedly despite never having actually read it. I railed on the book and how stupid it was in vague generalities so it wouldn't be obvious that I had not even heard of it before.

Anyway, she called my bluff. "Oh yeah?! Nobody who read it would think it was so horrible. If you DID really read it what was the ending?"

Shit. I was trapped. Without thinking I quickly opened my mouth and stammered "Uhhh... she dies at the end."

I then realized by the way my cousin started slowly crying and backing away that I had truly pulled the rabbit out of the hat. Man, I was an ass when I was younger.

The point of this story is, 3fingerspointback, won't you feel bad if the kid is actually killed by getting hit by the Dursley's car?

Epilogue: At the last family gathering, years later, my sister told me that my cousin was asking everybody if they wanted to go see the movie remake of "Bridge To Terabithia." Everybody got asked except me.

We've got a nation full of people who are going to finish Book 7 by tomorrow.  What are they going to do next?  Read more fantasy?  Read something else?  Pick up The Secret?

I have no clue, but I do have a recommendation for further reading in the Potter style.  I've only read the first book of Sergei Lukyanenko's Night Watch trilogy, but I think it's the best choice to read as the continuation of Potter's story.  Not only because the adult hero works a job that Harry aspires to, but because the novel's take on morality continues the ramping complexity that Rowling took on in her work.  Night Watch may actually be the most mature fantasy novel I've ever read.

(is 3fingerspointback)