Casa Bacardi: A Tour that Gets The Job Done [Review]

pO157.

Posted to Etcetera on Wed Jul 25, 2007 at 09:46:09 AM EST (promoted by port1080). RSS.

Much like the fabled Chocolate Factory of Mssr. Wonka was a once in a lifetime experience to those lucky enough to enter its gates, the privileged who have the means to travel to Casa Bacardi will always cherish a singular museum experience, full of educational and alcoholic delights.

The complimentary tour of Casa Bacardi begins when you provide your own transportation to a disused industrial area on the outskirts of San Juan, Puerto Rico. Although this is a relatively popular tourist destination (some bus companies offer regular charter bus service, for reasons which will become apparent below) the route to it is not well marked. You will check in at a guard gate, where the pleasant burly security guard issues you a free parking pass and directions to the visitors center. The curious make take an opportunity to pause, look into his guard quarters and spot the poster of composite mug shots from those who are no longer welcome at Casa Bacardi.

Upon checking in at the visitors center, we were given tickets for a guided tour appropriate to their language and invited to enjoy ourselves at the open air center. The visitors center is home to one of the more popular parts of the tour before the formal portion even starts: the Bacardi Company Open Bar. There guests may get drinks made to order by the expert bartending staff from any of the liquors produced by the company. I enjoyed a Mojito prepared the way it was supposed to be made, as well as a variety of other drinks I don't remember with exactly what.

After a brief tram ride from the company bar to the visitor's museum, we were welcomed into a recreated atrium with the company logo serving as a giant novelty fountain. On the four walls are tile pictures depicting important parts of Bacardi history and the production of rum. One of the illustrations caused some consternation with two African-American members of our group who were bothered by a depiction of early rum production with slave labor and comments by the tour guide that after the end of slavery they had production problems due to paid workers not being as good. However, I felt the area was an interesting method of giving slightly tipsy tourists the broad overview before journeying on to the next portion.

We were then ushered into an air conditioned movie theater with stadium seating. A lengthy promotional video described the history of Bacardi, as well as the process of Rum making, the history of the company, the meaning behind the logo, how it relocated to Cuba during prohibition, fought fascism and subsequently was ejected from Cuba, among other topics. It started and ended with a lengthy show which suggested heavily that if you drink Bacardi hot Latina dancers in their late teenage years to early twenties will show up at your house and shower their glistening breasts with light rum, dance provocatively, and demonstrate how flexible they are. A quick survey of those in the audience by yours truly afterwards suggested that this must be very rare, or perhaps they did not have our updated addresses.

After a quick tour of a 1940s distillery, and the recreated offices of Mr. Bacardi (with tons of period historical documents and working desks, chairs, and office furniture you could examine) I examined several "sniffing points" which were small pots containing rum from each part of the process. Basically, it smells like ass until the very end. Trust me on this. We were then ushered into one of my favorite parts of the whole afternoon:

Tomas, the company bartender, then warmly welcomed visitors into an amazing duplicate of the 1930's Bacardi VIP barroom where dignitaries and royalty were greeted in Cuba. In the classy establishment, with walls plastered with pictures of yesteryear, Tomas showed us how to make all of the signature Bacardi drinks, such as the Cuba Libre, the Mojito, and others. He also discussed the vagaries of trademark law which Bacardi used over 60 years ago to protect your right to get plastered with quality name brand booze. One woman scribbled furiously to get all of Tomas' expert advice. One of the interesting points of Tomas' lectures was about the various brands of Bacardi. He mentioned all of the brands and flavors, and their positive and negative aspects. He then talked about the Holy Grail of Bacardi -- the 12 year old Reserve Bacardi. It is only sold at the end of the Bacardi tour, and not anywhere else ("You won't even find this on eBay!"). It is hand made, hand bottled, and each flask numbered and signed by the person who handled the production. I half expected him to say that person was subsequently shot at the end of each lot so they could never make a lesser rum, but he did not. Tomas admonished us that it is NOT for mixing, not for chugging, but simply to pour a little bit in a cognac glass and watch the light bounce off of it as you sip it slowly and reflect. He also said the same thing repeated by all of the other tour guides, that Bacardi was made using a secret ingredient and that we could not ask what it was. I got the impression the other tour guides were just trying to act big and didn't actual know what the ingredient was, but for some reason I trusted Tomas. Perhaps it was his charismatic influence, perhaps it was the wood paneling. I'll never know exactly.

My only gripe with this section was that there were several small children on the tour, but they were not asked at the start to come up front to see better. I think they may have missed out on an important part of the trip.

The last room in the visitor's museum consisted of framed displays of all of the rums produced, and the largest collection of bottled light rum I have ever seen. There was literally a 20' long wall 10-15' high made out of bottles of light rum. It was beautiful. There were also several video camera kiosks in which you could send a message to those at home. I did so, and was asked upon my return by a co-worker how much I had had to drink.

We then reboarded the tram, and took a quick tour of the exterior of the factory, and saw a vista of San Juan and the old fort. Not very photoworthy as some trees (and things) obscured the view. The tour concluded back at Casa Bacardi and the company store with the reminder to "always have fun but to drink in moderation." Inside the store they sold bar equipment and Bacardi at absurdly low prices ($9 a liter for most blends, although I forget the price for 151 or 8 year reserve. The special, rare, 12 year reserve went for $70).

The guidebook advertised self guided audio tours, and sometimes tours of the inside of the distillery, but since we went on a Sunday these features were not available.

All in all, an amazing afternoon for the rum aficianado in your life. Parking was ample.