I think that some sort of sanction is appropriate for teenage boys who can't keep their hands to themselves.

Agreed. The question is whether years of jail time and carrying a lifelong brand as a sexual predator is the appropriate sort of sanction. I think the answer there is "no."

Yeah, an ass is one thing. A breast is both a lot more intimate and also a lot more easily damaged in a quick grab and dash.

In my high school, two senior guys slapped the asses of two female seniors. The girls didn't care and didn't complain but the lunchroom attendant did and they go expelled. Of course, since they only had two months left of their senior year, all that meant was having their work sent home and taking tests from there. I think they might even have been allowed to walk in graduation.

If it were that kind of incident, I'd say prosecution was over-reacting. However, if people asked them to stop and it occurred on multiple occasions, then it's time to take punishment up a level. Still, I'm opposed to "sex offender" registries and the classification of anything as a "sex crime" on a general basis. They probably deserve probation and a suspended sentence.

Great to see ya around, Ace.

It is easy to buy small plaster models of what you think life is like.

This was obviously a case of teenagers mimicking some kewl actions they saw on MTV or whatnot.

I dunno, Mayor. I remember a few episodes like this (if nowhere near as prolonged) from my years in sixth and seventh grades, and that's back when MTV still played music videos. The whole point of adolescence as something distinct stems from recognizing kids don't become adults in the time it takes to flip a switch. This kind of act isn't too far removed from kids hitting each other to show like.

On a side note, the same criticisms against trying juvenile offenders as adults for violent crime should apply here, with even stronger resonance; not everyone murders, but everyone passes through sexual maturation.

how is this NOT sexual assault?

The problem with that question is the implicit assumption that it should be characterized according to law instead of custom. The law works best when the lines delimiting behavior are clear and bright, allowing a person of average means to quickly tell the difference. But the "average means" of acceptable behavior are known to those accustomed to working within a sexual context. As long as there are children, there will always be some to whom the sexual context is new. If we choose to go for an "ignorance of the law is no excuse" hard line, there are going to be adverse consequences.

Case in point: when my eldest niece was four, running up to people she knew and throwing her arms around them was her way of expressing affection. Unfortunately, when the approach is from the side, the practical effect was to nail her uncle in the nuts. Clearly a sexual assault, right? And it happened repeatedly, despite rather stern warnings against (believe me), until she learned some control. Would the country be improved any if she had spent most of her childhood in prison? Should she be registered as a sex offender?

Granted, a four-year-old is not a thirteen-year-old. Still, there are learning and control issues to addressed at the latter age which shouldn't be necessary for an average adult. I have no doubt that part of the impetus for these kids to chase around was sexual, but I also believe that part was more akin to "girls have cooties" -- focused on sex differences, but not sexual. Punishing the boys for misbehavior is completely in line; they need to learn what's acceptable. Dragging them through the court system as felons, however, is not; the boys aren't adults, and shouldn't be expected to behave as though they are.

In my opinion, this incident, if true as reported, is a sexual assault,  but given the age of the accused, it seems relatively minor.   You've got the facts as reported in the police report,  at least one young woman in the original Oregonian article taking strong umbrage to the alleged contact,  and this quote from the follow up:

During questioning by a vice principal and police officer stationed at the school, they also admitted to poking or grabbing girls' breasts in the past..

When you say "Zero-tolerance school policy", I fully agree:  if all the allegations are true, these young men need to be disciplined for their actions by the school, and they need to learn that grabbing women's breasts and buns is NOT OK.  Unfortunately,  the overzealousness of the law-enforcement agencies and the flippant attitudes of the parents seem to have provoked a reverse reaction:  "Hey, its not that bad! My grabby kid is the victim!"    The parents of the boys come off as twits who didn't teach their puberty-aged sons how to respect their women peers, and the outraged national attitude has made martyrs out of these aspiring knuckleheads.  

If I were the principal, I would have suspended them for 15 days, and done my damndest to require some sensitivity training.  Most Oregon students have had sexual heath classes by seventh grade, and despite my earlier rhetoric about the bumpkin nature of the community these lads grew up in,  it should be a given (especially in this day and age, what with the earlier sexual proclivities of American youth) that you don't grab boobies, ever.  

I'm old...and I'm not happy!  Back in my day, we didn't cotton to these crybaby sexual offender laws.  Hell, we didn't even have laws.  If a pretty girl came to school she was just asking to be groped...and even if she did have a chance to say no, she really didn't mean no.  It...it was her way of saying please grab my pubescent titty some more.  We boys would roam up and down the halls between classes looking for any girl who was preoccupied with her locker.  We would sneak up behind her and grab a quick squeeze and dart away...unless she was ugly, then we'd just snap her bra.  With any luck, she'd be slow on the uptake and turn around and slap the guy behind you.

Now, we have all of the Megan Laws, and sexual offender registries, and mandatory psychiatric counseling, and chemical castration, and angry mothers throwing rocks at you whenever you walk by the play ground.

Yep...we were slavering, lawless, sex mad, sweaty, hormone-sodden, misanthropic, titty grabbing Neanderthals...AND WE LIKED IT!

(and for you snotty youngsters who ought to know better, but don't...here is the SNL inspiration)

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine