Sport

Hot dog!

Steve Urkel.

Posted to Sport on Thu Jul 05, 2007 at 04:00:24 PM EST (promoted by port1080). RSS.

Joey Chesnut did the unthinkable, eating 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes to defeat the legendary Kobayashi (who more than anyone put the sport of competitve eating on the map), set a new world record, and restore the hot dog eating title back to America where it belongs.

Kobayashi's only other loss in hot dog eating was to a bear. That's right, a bear. Kobaayshi claimed to be suffering from a jaw injury, and recently had a wisdom tooth extracted. No one knows if these conditions were real, or what factor they played.

Were the announcers right to describe it as "the greatest moment in sports history"? Can, as the announcers also claimed, Chesnutt now be placed in the pantheon of great Americans which includes "Abraham Lincoln, Neil Armstrong, and Taylor Hicks"?

Is the sport of competive eating the next big thing, or an abomination which should be made illegal?

Share your personal comepetive eating stories (but not drinking - no one cares about your alcholoism).

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Tags: edited by Port1080, written by Steve Urkel, competitive eating, hot dogs, July 4th, food (all tags)
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2

We're #1! We're #1!

Lou.

Thu Jul 05, 2007 at 10:36:42 PM EST

3.33 (funny, obnoxious, astute)

Well...as a world leader we suck...as a warrior nation we're so-so...

But, buy god...we can out fucking consume everyone else, eh?

Go US.

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine

1

Illegal? Nah

port1080.

Thu Jul 05, 2007 at 08:47:11 PM EST

none

I'm not sure how I feel about this..."sport". On the one hand, it seems like a disaster - encouraging overeating, obesity, forcing one's body to do things it's not naturally inclined too...but on the other hand, one could say the same things about the skills required to be a pro football offensive lineman. I do think some study should be done on the long term effects on the participants GI tracts (I've read some speculation that this sort of eating could lead to serious long term health problems), but as long as that isn't an issue, why not?

8

^ 1

Re: Illegal? Nah

Steve Urkel.

Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 01:44:19 PM EST

5.00 (astute)

They all claim because they've worked their way up over time they don't really have a lot of adverse effects, but you're right I don't see how this isn't harmful. This guy competes somehow even though he has diabetes.

I disagree though that it encourages obesity. It's not like watching these makes people hungry, and the best eaters aren't fat. Belly fat inhibits the ability of the stomach to stretch out.

3

Re: Hot dog!

skeptic.

Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 10:46:41 AM EST

none

I'm sorry, I just do not accept that eating is a valid form of competition.  Food preparation can be competitive (as in "The Iron Chef") but eating requires minimal skill.  And in competitive eating, the food is eaten too quickly to be properly appreciated, so this is actually a degraded version of what eating should be.  Excess consumption of food is a failing (known as gluttony) and not an accomplishment.

If we wish to celebrate the basic biological functions of our species, I would much rather see a competitive sexual display, rather than seeing who can eat the most hot dogs in a specific period of time.  That would be much more artistic, as well as entertaining.  Of course, porn is already available in essentially limitless quantity (as we all know, being the savvy internet users that we are) but no athletic awards are being given out, as yet.  I hope that sex will someday be an Olympic event.  

19

^ 3

She's been training since she was 8...

3fingerspointback.

Tue Jul 10, 2007 at 06:32:24 PM EST

4.66 (astute, brilliant, funny)

Had my dream again where I'm making love, and the Olympic judges are watching. I'd nailed the compulsories, so this is it, the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, disguised as an East German judge, gave me a 5.6. Must have been the dismount.

Billy Crystal aside, I think sex is the last thing I'd want to see made into a competitive sport.  Porn is bad enough with its encouragement of the cunnilingus-fellatio-mish-doggie-anal-popshot road-rally format, but who knows what bizarre guidelines the IOC would come up with.  And judging by my savvy internet use, I find that the people most accomplished in extreme sexual achievement are not exactly the kinds of people I want representing my species, let alone my country.

(is 3fingerspointback)

20

^ 19

Re: She's been training since she was 8...

skeptic.

Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 11:58:03 AM EST

none

This reply may be too late to have any remaining relevance, however I just noticed that my comment had received a third reply.  My suggestion for a sexual competition rather than an eating competition is at least partially satirical; I am trying to point out that if we want to make simple biological functions into a competitive sport, we could have chosen something more interesting than eating hot dogs.  And of course, sex can be EXTREMELY interesting to watch, hence the popularity of pornography.  Even so, sex doesn't really need to be made into an actual athletic event.  It's not as if there is any shortage of pornography.  And it's true as you say, that the excesses of sexual competition could result in something distasteful.  Although the excesses of hot dog eating are also distasteful to me.  Given a choice I can honestly say that I would rather watch a sexual competition than an eating competition.  But I would be willing to do without either of these.

4

^ 3

Re: Hot dog!

port1080.

Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 11:56:20 AM EST

none

I would much rather see a competitive sexual display

How would this work? I don't see this being any less harmful than competitive eating...sexual organs can definitely be "over-used" to the point of harm, unless artificial lubrication is used. I suppose you could compete in terms of "quality", but that would be difficult to measure. Quantity, which can be measured, really isn't all that interesting.

...and can you imagine how hard it would be to keep the "athletes" from using Viagra?

14

^ 4

Re: Hot dog!

skeptic.

Sat Jul 07, 2007 at 08:58:26 AM EST

none

Certainly there are details to be worked out, but that is true in any athletic activity (and there is always the possibility of injury through over-exertion in any athletic activity).  I would allow Viagra.

15

^ 14

Really?

thefadd.

Mon Jul 09, 2007 at 02:19:18 PM EST

none

So you're in favor of performance enhanced drugging in athletic competition?

make it rain you nappy headed ho's

16

^ 15

Re: Really?

skeptic.

Tue Jul 10, 2007 at 09:15:07 AM EST

none

The prohibition all performance-enhancing drugs for all athletic competitions would be an extreme position.  Some drugs should be banned, some shouldn't.  Steroids are undesirable mainly because they endanger the health of athletes who use them (and may even endanger the health of other people who associate with athletes who may be subject to "roid rage").  Viagra, however, is quite harmless when used as directed (although an overdose can still be dangerous).  It seems reasonable to me that competitors in some as-yet-hypothetical sexual competition should be judged on the skill and artistry of their performance, rather than on the mere capacity to sustain an erection.  If they need Viagra, so be it.

17

^ 16

Re: Really?

thefadd.

Tue Jul 10, 2007 at 10:30:17 AM EST

none

Ron Jeremy don't need no viagra.

make it rain you nappy headed ho's

18

^ 17

Re: Really?

skeptic.

Tue Jul 10, 2007 at 11:44:31 AM EST

none

It's perfectly true (although not very grammatical) that Ron Jeremy don't need no Viagra.  That does not, however, mean that he would necessarily be the most deserving of the Olympic gold medal in the as-yet-hypothetical sexual competition.  For that matter, his best days as a sexual athlete are past.  Sex, like gymnastics, is a young person's sport.  (Although it remains entertaining at more advanced ages.)

6

^ 3

Re: Hot dog!

thefadd.

Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 01:33:18 PM EST

none

oh, there's definitely been "porn olympics" videos.

make it rain you nappy headed ho's

5

Se7en

nmiguy.

Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 01:23:34 PM EST

none

This reminds me of the Brad Pitt film Se7en, when John Doe had killed a man, they find a morbidly obese man who was forced at gun point to eat himself to death until he basically exploded inside.  Eating so much food so fast with no time for digestion seems incredibly dangerous.  

7

Re: Hot dog!

thefadd.

Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 01:36:21 PM EST

none

In fact, I remember one being profiled on an episode of HBO's real sex, I think. It was japanese (of course) and the men had to produce as much ejaculant as possible within a couple hours time. They each had about 6 women to help them and they had to put the sperm in a measuring tube for it to count. You want to talk about not being able to enjoy an otherwise pleasurable experience...

make it rain you nappy headed ho's

9

^ 7

Re: Hot dog!

Steve Urkel.

Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 01:45:48 PM EST

none

Competitive eating is family sport, and here you go dragging in some filth you watched into the discussion.

10

^ 9

Re: Hot dog!

Lou.

Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 02:25:33 PM EST

none

Hey, what channel was that on?

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine

11

^ 10

Re: Hot dog!

zyxwvutsr.

Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 03:02:58 PM EST

none

Fox 5 NY. They televise the event every year.

13

^ 11

Re: Hot dog!

Lou.

Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 04:05:09 PM EST

none

Actually, I was talking about the ejaculate in a jar marathon.

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine

12

^ 10

Re: Hot dog!

Steve Urkel.

Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 03:13:42 PM EST

none

At his house he has it running on a continuous video loop.

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