Or perhaps atheist, I agree with port1080 that as there really is no afterlife I'd like to go out with a bang, perhaps in the most excessive and ostentatious way possible.

Therefore when I die, there is going to be a crazy as hell party. Everybody is invited, except for a few (regrettably) related crazy religious whackos that would probably attempt to use my untimely death as an attempt to spread their poison to my family and loved ones. I may have to hire a funeral bouncer to keep those idiots away. Said bouncer will be pre-authorized to use deadly force in the event crazies show up and bring out any religious literature for distribution or describe their latest auditory hallucination. Hell, you can't sue me when I'm dead, right?

There will be an open bar (both during the memorial service and at the reception). Yuengling will be on tap, as well as Schlitz, although it will only be served in 6 packs. I expect everybody to get good and ripped. The service will consist of general recounting of various zany moments people found meaningful in my life.  The walk to the cemetery will be on foot, with everybody following the hearse New Orleans style. There will be a column of bag pipers playing (in random order) Amazing Grace, Jukebox Hero, Who'll Stop The Rain, You can't Touch This (Stop... Hammertime), When The Man Comes Around, and perhaps Michael Jackson's Thriller. If there is time for requests, they'll take them because we'll be hiring the best damn bagpipers around.

If I end up obscenely rich, at the gravesite there will be a flyover of airplanes in Missing Man formation.

There may be congratulatory strippers. I'm not sure.

My wealth will be distributed to my relatives, friends and to fund a wide variety of scholarships for education in the sciences.

Yes, I am insane. The point is, I want people not to be sad and melancholy, but to remember me as the guy who threw the craziest funeral ever.

That is all.

I've always liked Dorothy Parker's suggested line, "Excuse my dust."

If I die before becoming so old my body parts aren't useful to anyone else, I'd rather be burned and my ashes scattered at sea, or just taken well off-shore and dumped over the side.  But if I do end up with a headstone somewhere, let it read:

"Well that was fun."

"Here lies Lou...and why not?"

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine

I just want MayorBob -- This is truly my final submission.

Illegitimi non carborundum.

Pepperoni.

Is there any rational reason not to donate all of your usable organs as transplants and/or your entire body as a cadaver to teach medical students?

It's quite sad. These poor people are all deluding themselves. They mock the grim reaper with their play, yet medical science has clearly proven the inheritance pattern of death.

It is easy to buy small plaster models of what you think life is like.

I don't want a tombstone, and taking up space in a cemetery.  Better off if the land gets used for a golf course.  

Burn me up and scatter my ashes somewhere, anywhere.  I'd prefer that they'd end up in the Shenandoah Valley, but heck, I'll be dead so it doesn't really matter to me!

there's only one way to find out...