I used to see that a lot when I taught undergrads at my old graduate institution. 10-15 business days into the start of the semester when loan disbursements were issued you'd have people going out and spending the money like drunken sailors in a bar selling discount Schlitz.

Speaking of drunk people. I just got back from the greengrocer. This is a very nice family owned store that has been in business at this one location in my neighborhood for generations, and they haven't closed despite several armed robberies and being located close to the new Scenic Barbed Wire District. The remaining people in the small pocket of viable civilization in my neighborhood surely appreciate that and one or two other businesses that have stuck around while most followed their customers to surbubia.

Anywho, so I'm in the deli (my number was 95, it was on 93) which has the best salami in this History of the Universe. You should try it sometime. Three random chicks, one obviously pregnant, stagger in in their ill fitting, booze drenched finery. They stand around being loud obnoxious people, occasionally knocking crap off the shelf. Thankfully due to the stares of the hair-net covered elderly woman working the counter with an array of slicers they put it back. Eventually it gets to 94. Scumbag One comes over to me and goes "what ticket chu gots?" Obviously I stood there oblivious listening to the playlist of Journey, CCR, and Foreigner in my head because who the heck waltzes up to random people they don't know in a deli and demands to know what ticket they have?

Again: "YO! WHAT TICKET YOU HAVE?" I ignore her. In 3rd grade I learned you are supposed to preface your obnoxious drunken demands with "Excuse me" and possibly inserting in a "please" or "thank you." Finally after the third "WHAT YOU GOT?!" I look up into the heavily, freshly lacerated (from a knife or other cutting object) face of Scumbag Two. They had closed around me. As the sickeningly sweet swell of cheap liquor hit my nostrils on a Saturday at noon, I recoiled in shock.

Me: "I have 95"
S.B.#2:  "You gots to trade with us. We gotta go do stuff." (SB#2 showed me her ticket which was #97)
Me: "No."
S.B.#3: "YOU AIN'T GONNA DO NO FAVOR FOR TWO WIMMINS?!"
Me: "No, I have to get home, too."

This did not make them happy. Instead of discussing sensibly why they wanted to break Deli Etiquette and Cut (then again, it looked like they were all fans of getting cut [rimshot!]) Customers they decided to act all huffy and leave the store angrily under a cloud of interjections delivered in a unique mix of Spanish, English, and consisting of forceful loud volume profanities and vague statements about how rude it was that people didn't let them take care of "dere bizness." I gave it a 4/10. I have heard a lot better directed at me in the past and really think that as drunk, rude, obnoxious and scary looking as they were they could have done a whole lot better. In addition, they should have gone whole hog and made racially insensitive comments as well. I mean, if you are going to disrupt interstate commerce you might as well go huge or not go at all, you know?

You may ask: Why am I diary jacking you? I have no idea. Perhaps it is just due to the fact that my respect for society as a whole sometimes seems like it cannot get any lower, but then it happens. A new layer of subterranean bedrock is discovered.