Years ago at this job I had there was the woman we shall call "Janet" because that was her name at a meeting it was announced our department would be celebrating some sort of shitty departmental accomplishment so on the Friday two weeks from now everyone bring tasty food for the "celebration!" good times come on! Janet became very excited and announced "I will be bringing my special salad" over the course of the next two weeks Janet would never miss a chance to bring up her "special salad" I'm in the break room I'm getting coffee Janet says "Oh, hi. How's it going? What are you bringing to the celebration?" I don't know, a gun to shoot all you fucking people in the fucking face? Actually I didn't say that I just thought that, instead I said, "I haven't decided yet" and as I tried to get away Janet said "I'm bringing my special salad!" see her on the elevator "special salad!" walk by her cube "remember to bring something. I'm bringing my special salad!" special salad special salad so finally it was the day of the celebration I show up early in the conference room I think I brought a bag of chips I may have brought nothing because I'm an asshole Janet arrives she sets a large wooden salad bowl down on the conference room table then she opens a plastic bag of pre-mixed salad and dumps it in then she produces a bottle of ranch opens it and pours it on top then with a pair of salad tongs she kind of fluffs it up a bit.

We need a better definition of what "salad" is. First off, anything where mayonnaise is a major component and not just a dressing is not a salad - where do they get off calling it potato "salad" or macaroni "salad"? Some of those "salads" don't have a single bloody vegetable in them! Second - while I absolutely love them - I find it difficult to consider Pittsburgh steak salad to actually be a "salad" - if it has more steak and French fries by weight than it has lettuce & other assorted vegetables, it's probably not a salad.

For me, simple / traditional is pretty good - a little iceberg lettuce, some shredded carrot, chopped parsley, red onion, sweet grape tomatoes, top with some croûtons and either ranch or Italian dressing.

Never been big on salads. A nice warm spinach salad wouldn't be bad but there's nothing appealing to me about dead lettuce on a plate smothered with an over-sugared dressing and bits of left over bread tossed in. Anything with mayo in it, like a potato or pasta salad, is a non-starter for me. What I have started to get into is a seaweed salad. Very refreshing and more substantial than the leafy green-based variety with greater taste and nutrition.

It is easy to buy small plaster models of what you think life is like.

I have a cat who likes lima beans.

I tend to use my salads to get rid of whatever vegetables or fruits I have around before they spoil, rather than buying things specifically for them.  If I didn't do this, I'd probably use spinach as a base more often than iceberg lettuce.

I mostly use grape seed oil and red wine vinegar as a base for salad dressing.  I usually add a bit of sugar to cut the sourness from the vinegar a bit, but not enough that it still isn't sour.  Sometimes I will substitute olive oil for the grape seed oil, or lemon or lime juice for the vinegar.

In general, I'm not impressed with balsamic  vinegar as a salad dressing.  It's just some herb-steeped red wine vinegar, and generally I'm not impressed with the herb flavors.  I'm much happier with adding some fresh cilantro or parsley instead of using balsamic vinegar for herb flavor.

Usually I add freshly roasted almond slivers for some flavor.  Sometimes I add feta cheese, or occasionally fresh mozzarella.  I haven't tried Gruiere cheese, but I tend to like softer cheese for a salad.  Fresh mozzarella, cherry tomatoes and fresh cilantro makes an excellent salad.

If I have watermelon or cantaloupe or strawberries around, I'll add some.

I have some relatives who seem to be on a diet of finely chopped cauliflower and broccoli salads.  This is really an excellent salad, but when visiting them, after a week or so of it I was starting to get rather tired of it.  I recently made a very good salsa substituting finely chopped broccoli stems for the tomatillo which I had planned to use, but which had gone bad before I made the salsa.

If you're trying to lose weight, I've found that I can substitute salad for about 1/3 of the calories I would otherwise eat, with no perceived loss of diet quality.