Well, he did evidently have BIG FEET.

I crack myself up.

And what's up with the poll? No Biggus Dickus? I'm appalled.

{Insert amusing quotation here}

The BBC says that Richard Harris played Marcus Aurelius in Gladiator. The only other time Roman emperor was portrayed on the big screen was in 1964's Fall of the Roman Empire when he was played by Sir Alec Guinness.

Marcus Aurelius was considered one of the great Roman emperors. He lowered taxes and was a champion of the poor, for whom he founded schools, orphanages, and hospitals. He also gave up his personal possessions to try to alleviate the suffering of the poor. He also tried to humanize criminal laws and the treatment of slaves by their masters. He was a philosopher, a stoic, whose writings include The Meditations. Altogether, an accomplished and urbane ruler who had the misfortune to be emperor during the time when the Pax Romana was disintegrating. Perhaps, because he was basically a man without quirks (except for that persecution of Christians) that Hollywood has only seen fit to portray him at the end of his life, as his reign gave way to his son, Commodus.

Commodus has only been portrayed twice in Hollywood movies: Joaquin "I'm Terribly Vexed" Phoenix in Gladiator and Christopher Plummer in Fall of the Roman Empire. Both films are basically made up as they go along (about the only historical fact (other than that Commodus was known to fight in the arena himself from time to time) they get right is that Commodus does succeed Marcus Aurelius.

Hollywood's treatment of Roman emperors has tended to dwell on those who had the most kinks and quirks. Thus we have the following emperors portrayed in Hollywood movies:

1. The notorius lecher Tiberius, ten times by such actors as Cedric Hardwicke, Peter O'Toole and Max Von Sydow (who forty years before had played Jesus Christ).

2. Nero, close to thirty times by such actors as Charles Laughton, Peter Lorre, Peter Ustinov, Dom DeLuise and Tim Curry. Side note, Mel Blanc provided the voice for Nero in two Warner Brothers cartoons.

3. Caligula, eleven times by such actors as Jay Robinson (in both The Robe and Demetrius and the Gladiators) and Malcolm MacDowell.

The one Roman leader who has been portrayed most often by Hollywood is Julius Caesar. That most noble of Romans has been a character in close to forty movies.

Illegitimi non carborundum.