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Norks Shoot Their Load

pO157.

Posted to Etcetera on Thu Apr 12, 2012 at 10:20:48 PM EST (promoted by port1080). RSS.

The North Koreans found that their most honorable rocket ship failed to launch into space. Reports indicated that it failed within minutes of launch. Furthermore, it broke up within minutes of lift off ending up in the ocean or something. CNN reports that their rocket was a humiliating situation. It's unknown what the latest offspring of Lil Kim will do about this.

Tags: written by pO157, gooks, yalu river, lil kim (all tags)

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Re: Norks Shoot Their Load

Haggis.

Thu Apr 12, 2012 at 10:51:19 PM EST

none

Best Korea says the reason they needed to launch the missile was to send a weather satellite into space.  A question does come to mind; what possible need might the Best Koreans have with a weather satellite?  I mean, the country is incapable of producing more than a minimal amount of electric power, meaning most of the citizenry wouldn't have the juice to power up radios and TVs for more than an hour a day to listen to Best Korea's version of AccuWeather.  

I am shitfitter; hear me roar.

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Re: Norks Shoot Their Load

harzerkatze.

Fri Apr 13, 2012 at 01:52:34 AM EST

none

You misunderstand: The weather satellite was supposed to break apart, thus producing condensation particles in the atmosphere to create rain. Otherwise it would have been a weather observation satellite.
Although looking over the press, it seems the satellite broke apart, creating condescension particles.

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Re: Norks Shoot Their Load

tjb.

Fri Apr 13, 2012 at 01:51:14 PM EST

none

It was a missile test, not a failed satellite launch.  They clearly weren't trying to launch a satellite - the relatively far northern latitude makes reaching space really hard (you a lot more impulse than you would closer to the equator) and orbital insertion nearly impossible (if they were aiming for anything, it was a polar orbit).  NASA would probably consider a launch under those circumstances to be an iffy proposition - the missile engineers who worked on this I'm sure were aware that there was simply no way they were getting anywhere near space, but they could get some data on how their engines work.

The DPRK go to test a missile that blew up outside of telemetry range anyways and they put a happy face on it by calling it a failed satellite launch.  They are still going to get their foreign aid cut, and then they'll go do another nuke test.  Apparently, Kim Jong Un is quite satisfied to be the lord of an isolated shithole rather than trying to improve relations with the rest of the world.

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Re: Norks Shoot Their Load

T Slothrop.

Fri Apr 13, 2012 at 04:41:13 PM EST

5.00 (interesting)

...Apparently, Kim Jong Un is quite satisfied to be the lord of an isolated shithole rather than trying to improve relations with the rest of the world...

This is of course assuming that Fat Boy is actually in charge - of anything. I've suspected ever since Fat Boy's Dad's first stroke that the country is probably being run by a military junta. These men have power and a certain kind of feral political instinct, but because they are products of the PRK system they have absolutely no imagination or vision. Thus they keep a Kim around as a front simply because they can't think of anything better to try.

I have absolutely no evidence whatsoever to back up these assertions, but when has that ever stopped anyone on TnT? ;-)

[I'm not that guy.]

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Re: Norks Shoot Their Load

tjb.

Fri Apr 13, 2012 at 05:04:46 PM EST

none

This is of course assuming that Fat Boy is actually in charge - of anything. I've suspected ever since Fat Boy's Dad's first stroke that the country is probably being run by a military junta.

That would not surprise me at all.  There have been rumors over the last few years that the central government is effectively powerless outside of Pyongyang and the prefects are being run by and for local generals.  It certainly would explain quite a bit, like how the Kim family regime can make a deal to not test missiles or nukes in return for food aid and then a month later decides to test a missile and looks like they are preparing to test a nuke.  It might not be insanity or greed so much as the generals pointing out that they can test whatever they want, whenever they want and hey, you might want to ask permission next time you think you can make policy decisions.

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Re: Norks Shoot Their Load

T Slothrop.

Fri Apr 13, 2012 at 06:18:45 PM EST

none

Oh and I forgot to mention that I completely agree with your assessment of what the launch actually was. I'm a little surprised at the comparative dearth of news coverage of this angle.

[I'm not that guy.]

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Re: Norks Shoot Their Load

Gaius Petronius.

Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 10:53:03 AM EST

5.00 (funny)

My favorite comment about the Nork satellite was from somebody who called it a "hobbyist project". i llok forward to seeing the plans in Popular Mechanics.

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Re: Norks Shoot Their Load

Shy Elf.

Sun Apr 15, 2012 at 02:09:16 AM EST

none

the relatively far northern latitude makes reaching space really hard
I wonder why NASA spent all those years launching from Kennedy at 28 degrees north then?  Even where they're launching from, you still need less than 15% extra impulse to put the thing in geosynchronous orbit (geosynchronous velocity is low, which is what saves you).  Granted, that's plenty to make it worth your while to haul the thing down to the equator and launch it from there if you have an equatorial launch site available, but it's hardly prohibitive.

But, yeah, they really have no reason to put the effort into this unless it's a ballistic weapon test, and were it successful it would be obviously a weapons test because it wouldn't wind up anywhere near even stable orbit, let alone geosynchronous.  All the news coverage I saw was pretty clear that it was likely a weapon test, though.

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Re: Norks Shoot Their Load

zyxwvutsr.

Sun Apr 15, 2012 at 06:38:22 AM EST

none

I wonder why NASA spent all those years launching from Kennedy at 28 degrees north then?
Same reason that North Korea launched from North Korea. (The US does have Hawaii, of course, but the logistics of getting everything there would probably negate the small benefit from its more southerly location.)

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Two Tales of Liadoff

Ephraim Gadsby.

Fri Apr 13, 2012 at 03:14:19 PM EST

none

by Wallace Stevens

I

Do you remember how the rocket went on
And on, at night, exploding finally
In an ovation of resplendent forms -

Ovation on ovation of large blue men
In pantaloons of fire and of Women hatched,
Like molten citizens of the vacuum?

Do you remember the children there like wicks,
That constantly sparkled their small gold? The town
Had crowded into the rocket and touched the fuse.

That night, Liadoff, a long time after his death,
At a piano in a cloud sat practicing,
On a black piano practiced  epi-tones.

Do you remember what the townsmen said,
As they fell down, as they heard Liadoff's cloud
And its tragical, its haunted arpeggios?

And is it true that what they said, as they fell,
Was repeated by Liadoff in a narration
Of incredible colors ex, ex and ex and out?

II

The feeling of Liadoff was changed. It is
The instant of the change that was the poem,
When the cloud pressed suddenly the whole return

From thought, like a violent pulse in the cloud itself,
As if Liadoff no longer remained a ghost
And, being straw, turned green, lived backward,
     shared

The fantastic fortune of fantastic blood,
Until his body smothered him, until
His being felt the need of soaring, the need

Of air . . . But then that cloud, that piano placed
Just where it was, oh beau Caboose . . . It was part
Of the instant to perceive, after the shock,

That the rocket was only an inferior cloud.
There was no difference between the town
And him. Both Wanted the same thing. Both Sought

His epi­tones, the colors of the ear,
The sounds that soon become a voluble speech -
Voluble but archaic and hard to hear.

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Re: Norks Shoot Their Load

zyxwvutsr.

Fri Apr 13, 2012 at 06:19:42 PM EST

5.00 (forked)

Norks?

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Re: Norks Shoot Their Load

pO157.

Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 04:55:28 PM EST

none

As you can tell from this wikipedia link it is a slang term for a North Korean person. Also, if you were to check Urban Dictionary it would tell you the same thing. It would also try to tell you a Nork is involved in anal sex somehow, but I assure you that is NOT what I was going for.

America! I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.

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Re: Norks Shoot Their Load

zyxwvutsr.

Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 06:06:54 PM EST

none

The Wikipedia entry links to their page on North Korea that, guess what, doesn't mention the term at all.

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Re: Norks Shoot Their Load

pO157.

Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 09:29:34 PM EST

none

It's clearly stated on the page in question: "Nork is a slang word for North Koreans."

There's no need to obtuse.

America! I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.

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Re: Norks Shoot Their Load

zyxwvutsr.

Tue Apr 17, 2012 at 11:10:53 AM EST

none

It is clearly asserted, but with no reference to anything at all.

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