Business

Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

pO157.

Posted to Business on Thu Aug 23, 2012 at 07:45:45 PM EST (promoted by port1080). RSS.

This strip club (2001 Odyssey) is right down the road from where the GOP will hold their convention next week. Therefore, it was obviously important for the journalists at CNN to do an indepth story about how the upcoming presidential nomination ceremony will impact the titty business.

Conventions are really important for Boob joints. The owner of the place says the last time the Promise Keepers rolled into town they packed the strip club all night, every night. This club expects to make a lot more money on the upcoming GOP convention because reliable sources have it that while a limp wristed commie pinko democrat only spends $50 per strip club visit, a god fearing red blooded republican man spends $150 per visit. The club even features a machine to "Make It Rain" where patrons can swipe their credit card and dollar bills drop from the ceiling so customers don't have to do all the heavy lifting like PacMan Jones did.

While the owner of the 2001 Odyssey has been jailed 150 times for his business ventures, the mayor of Tampa Bob "Truck Stop" Buckhorn says there will be no police presence at these places during the convention so that GOP luminaries like Congressman "Clay" Aiken don't have to worry about police "shutting that whole thing down."

Tags: written by pO157, tits, ass, hard facts (all tags)

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1

Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

indecentspeech.

Thu Aug 23, 2012 at 08:10:19 PM EST

none

Honda is now marketing the Odyssey away from soccer-moms and towards soccer-dads or guys in general I guess, by making it more aggressive looking (I mean... as aggressive as a mini-van can get) and with more electronic features. This commercial shows the new marketing: Rock Van

2

Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

indecentspeech.

Thu Aug 23, 2012 at 09:49:43 PM EST

5.00 (interesting)

Red States buy more online porn. Repression sells?

The study tracked subscriptions for a top-10 seller of online adult entertainment (2006-2008) and using ZIP code data associated with those subscriptions, compared the data with numbers from the FCC that tracks the amount of broadband Internet users in any given state. One of the findings from the study revealed that online subscriptions are "more prevalent in states where surveys indicate conservative positions on religion, gender roles and sexuality."

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

port1080.

Fri Aug 24, 2012 at 07:34:32 AM EST

none

I think the takeaway there is that red-staters are too dumb to find free online porn, not that they actually view more porn.  I've been a copious "consumer" of porn in the past (less so now in my old age...lol), but I can't say I've ever paid for it, particularly in the age of r/gonewild/ and its ilk.

Allons-y!

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

indecentspeech.

Fri Aug 24, 2012 at 09:41:59 AM EST

none

Yeah I thought about that as well but dude, you have to be really retarded not to be able to find free online porn. I mean you can just stumble on to free porn accidentally.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

Milo.

Fri Aug 24, 2012 at 03:42:58 PM EST

5.00 (funny)

Maybe red-staters are just more honest: They believe in paying for their pr0n rather than stealing.

-milo-

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

port1080.

Fri Aug 24, 2012 at 09:42:19 PM EST

none

It's not stealing if they put it out there for
free (see previous link).

Allons-y!

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

novy.

Tue Aug 28, 2012 at 01:31:18 AM EST

5.00 (pathological)

Maybe red-staters think they deserve to be charged for sex, whether they can get it for free or not. Maybe red-staters even prefer sex they get charged for to sex they can get for free.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

novy.

Mon Aug 27, 2012 at 05:11:21 PM EST

none

I think the takeaway there is that red-staters think they can hide their porn subscriptions more easily if they pay for sites that promise greater confidentiality than if they just google for free porn.

I think the takeaway there is that red-staters have more esoteric tastes in porn and don't just want to see naked bodies and/or normal sex.

I think the takeaway there is that red-staters don't have as much sex (what with all that celibacy training for females in their schools) and need more supplementation.

I think the takeaway there is that red-staters feel guiltier about their urges and think that paying for having them amounts to atonement for them.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

zyxwvutsr.

Mon Aug 27, 2012 at 06:29:04 PM EST

5.00 (normal)

What is "normal sex"?

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

novy.

Mon Aug 27, 2012 at 06:47:50 PM EST

none

As tempting as it would be to say something like "sexual intercourse between one man and one woman, in one of four or five favoured positions", I will instead acknowledge that I should not have used "normal" and "sex" together, and perhaps not even used both in one paragraph.

My apologies to anyone offended by my suggestion that your own preferences may not be "normal", as what people mean by "normal" seems to be changing over time.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

zyxwvutsr.

Mon Aug 27, 2012 at 07:43:39 PM EST

5.00 (fetid)

What is "normal sex"?

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

novy.

Mon Aug 27, 2012 at 09:21:59 PM EST

none

Sometimes I find myself wondering if English was really your first language.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

zyxwvutsr.

Tue Aug 28, 2012 at 08:51:05 AM EST

none

So you're not going to tell me?

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

Anywhere.

Tue Aug 28, 2012 at 09:11:11 AM EST

none

That which they publicly-- and possibly to their spouses-- claim to be morally acceptable.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

novy.

Tue Aug 28, 2012 at 09:20:48 AM EST

none

Try rereading my post No. 20, in which I respond to your question but then think better of it.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

zyxwvutsr.

Tue Aug 28, 2012 at 09:51:33 AM EST

none

What, so there is no such thing?

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

novy.

Tue Aug 28, 2012 at 09:56:51 AM EST

none

Try rereading my post No. 20, in which I respond to your question but then think better of it.

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Rigid body dynamics

secretpath.

Mon Aug 27, 2012 at 11:47:33 PM EST

5.00 (funny, helpful, scientific)

That would be the term for sex in which the applied force is perpendicular to the contacting surfaces. Obviously.

Can't say I would recommend it, myself, but who am I to judge?

...but since no one was listening, we must begin again.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

Degee.

Thu Aug 30, 2012 at 09:38:17 AM EST

5.00 (funny)

Normal sex- using a feather. Abnormal sex- using the whole chicken.

LingQ: the best place for learning languages.

3

Pacman Jones was a wuss

gerrymander.

Fri Aug 24, 2012 at 12:31:03 AM EST

5.00 (impressive, painful)

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

port1080.

Fri Aug 24, 2012 at 07:28:38 AM EST

none

Strip clubs have never really made that much sense to me - it's all titillation with no payoff (unless you're down with jizzing in your pants during the lap dance, I guess).  It seems to me that it would be much preferable to either watch HD porn in the comfort and privacy of your own home, or to just go all the way and spend your money on a sure thing (i.e. hire a prostitute).  Strippers, though...meh.  What's the point?

Allons-y!

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

indecentspeech.

Fri Aug 24, 2012 at 09:44:52 AM EST

5.00 (astute)

Many strip clubs are pretty much brothels though. Prostitution is rampant.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

natophonic.

Fri Aug 24, 2012 at 10:01:57 AM EST

5.00 (astute, astute)

To a strip club aficionado, that probably sounds like someone complaining about bars: "I could have bought liquor at the grocery store and gotten drunk at home for way cheaper." Yeah, you get down with your bad self.

I'm also pretty meh on strip clubs, mostly because I find male camaraderie while I'm getting turned on to be a distraction, not a bonus. Also because, like casinos, I have a great time for about 15 minutes, then I start noticing the audience, and it's depressing.
 

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

T Slothrop.

Fri Aug 24, 2012 at 10:03:46 PM EST

none

Pretty much this:

I find male camaraderie while I'm getting turned on to be a distraction, not a bonus.

I'd go even further and say not only is it a distraction, I find it more than a little uncomfortably weird. Never could figure out the appeal.

[I'm not that guy.]

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

thefadd.

Sat Sep 01, 2012 at 10:39:05 PM EST

5.00 (funny)

I guess you never went to strip clubs at the best time to go to strip clubs -- Tuesday afternoons at 3pm.

I HAD HAD SEX WITH HUNTER S THOMPSON. HE CAME IN MY MOUTH AND I SWALLOWED IT. I SHOULD HAVE HAD HIS BABY. WE WOULD BE BALLIN' LIKE KOBE'S SON!!

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

thefadd.

Sat Sep 01, 2012 at 10:37:37 PM EST

none

hot girl makes you jizz in your pants - $40 seedy beat prostitute whose driver might accost you - $100 "normal sex" with a somewhat more attractive higher end escort - $300

I don't personally see much support for your cost/benefit analysis.

I HAD HAD SEX WITH HUNTER S THOMPSON. HE CAME IN MY MOUTH AND I SWALLOWED IT. I SHOULD HAVE HAD HIS BABY. WE WOULD BE BALLIN' LIKE KOBE'S SON!!

6

Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

zyxwvutsr.

Fri Aug 24, 2012 at 07:44:12 AM EST

none

Needless to say, this sort of stimulus program is a lot more likely to work than the one the Democrats came up with.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

indecentspeech.

Fri Aug 24, 2012 at 09:43:16 AM EST

none

Agreed. Tax cuts are horrible as stimulus.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

zyxwvutsr.

Fri Aug 24, 2012 at 09:48:21 AM EST

none

Yeah, targeted investments work way better.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

indecentspeech.

Fri Aug 24, 2012 at 09:53:34 AM EST

none

Actually, they don't but the Bush administration should have realized that.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

Gaius Petronius.

Sun Aug 26, 2012 at 03:28:44 PM EST

none

Don't worry, when the Democrats swarm over Charlotte NC for their convention, their needs will be met.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

indecentspeech.

Mon Aug 27, 2012 at 09:18:17 AM EST

5.00 (trickling)

Republicans haven't made it rain yet. It's just like trickle-down economics.

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Re: Tits & Ass: Hard Facts

HidingFromGoro.

Mon Sep 03, 2012 at 08:39:07 PM EST

none

Oh they made it rain with sex workers alright- just not with female sex workers.

I got more styles than prison got bricks- ain't that some shit?

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